Saturday 3 May 2014

Let it go~ 2months and counting.

I don't know at whom to utter this strange mixed feelings of mine..so please bear with me for this little one.

This is me and my love story. (love la kot?)

Dear dairy,

The first moment we met each other is the moment that always confused me,
What you did to make me fell for you is a big mystery,
And how the feelings last is another puzzled for me to solve,
I just knew that i like you just by you being you.

Seeing you being hurt by someone else makes me feel sad,
seeing you broken hearted is what hurts me the most,
i wish i could be your pills that you can take,
to ease the pain away if i may,
even if its just for a little while.

i thought what i did and what we share give you a moment of joy,
and time free from her memories. 
but each time we are not talking or meeting up with each other,
i know her photos is what you seek in your phone
and her post what fill you up each morning

I tried to be better, i tried to be patient,
i tried to make you mine,
but i know its impossible not matter what i do
or no matter what we did.

Honestly,
i kinda miss the moment we spend text-ing each other,
or the silence moment we had in the car undeciding where to go for a date,
or whether to eat or not to eat,
or the moment you seems lost in between.

i miss the moment you ask me to wear something nice just to take selfies,
or asking me where i wanna go just to take me there,
i miss the moment each time we passed by the kl night view, you'll say the same thing over and over again.
i miss your childish side,
i miss being childish when i'm with you. 

And i'm truly sorry,
for what we did.
if i seems too dependent when i'm with you..trust me,its just to seek your attention
if i'm being too silence, i'm too shy to say i love this moment of having you just by myself
if i'm being too pushy, its just a way to test your irritation limit towards me

One way or another,
i always knew there is never 'us' in your life
and my wishes and dreams would never come true.

Those harsh words you said to keep me in distance,
To banned me from your life so that we stop doing things that we gonna regret,
i know that what you did, you did for our good.

I dont blame you.
i just blaming myself,
for deciding to be your pills
when i'm not sure what your remedies really are.


For things we did, for all the good memories we share, i dont know if you still have them. Let just hope we will never encounter each other again. They say the snow always melt when the heat come.

-Miss Jco-