Let it go~ 2months and counting.

I don't know at whom to utter this strange mixed feelings of mine..so please bear with me for this little one.

This is me and my love story. (love la kot?)

Dear dairy,

The first moment we met each other is the moment that always confused me,

What you did to make me fell for you is a big mystery,

And how the feelings last is another puzzled for me to solve,

I just knew that i like you just by you being you.

Seeing you being hurt by someone else makes me feel sad,

seeing you broken hearted is what hurts me the most,

i wish i could be your pills that you can take,

to ease the pain away if i may,

even if its just for a little while.

i thought what i did and what we share give you a moment of joy,

and time free from her memories. 

but each time we are not talking or meeting up with each other,

i know her photos is what you seek in your phone

and her post what fill you up each morning

I tried to be better, i tried to be patient,

i tried to make you mine,

but i know its impossible not matter what i do

or no matter what we did.

Honestly,

i kinda miss the moment we spend text-ing each other,

or the silence moment we had in the car undeciding where to go for a date,

or whether to eat or not to eat,

or the moment you seems lost in between.

i miss the moment you ask me to wear something nice just to take selfies,

or asking me where i wanna go just to take me there,

i miss the moment each time we passed by the kl night view, you'll say the same thing over and over again.

i miss your childish side,

i miss being childish when i'm with you. 

And i'm truly sorry,

for what we did.

if i seems too dependent when i'm with you..trust me,its just to seek your attention

if i'm being too silence, i'm too shy to say i love this moment of having you just by myself

if i'm being too pushy, its just a way to test your irritation limit towards me

One way or another,

i always knew there is never 'us' in your life

and my wishes and dreams would never come true.

Those harsh words you said to keep me in distance,

To banned me from your life so that we stop doing things that we gonna regret,

i know that what you did, you did for our good.

I dont blame you.

i just blaming myself,

for deciding to be your pills

when i'm not sure what your remedies really are.

For things we did, for all the good memories we share, i dont know if you still have them. Let just hope we will never encounter each other again. They say the snow always melt when the heat come.

-Miss Jco-

A memo to oneself.

Seungkap kata.

2014.i'm still struggling with my prp life. this gonna be my 3rd month doing my prp (provisionally registered pharmacist) or also known as pharmacist-in-training but i'm still in the middle of adapting myself to those stressful life and a mixture of negative and positive environment.

Friday. 2.57am

Terlintas di fikiran. Mati itu pasti tapi mengapa manusia masih sibuk dengan hal duniawi. Tertusuk kepada diri sendiri. Ya, bekerja dengan niat kerana Allah Taala. setiap hari begitukah?Jika begitu mengapa al-quran tidak dibelek setiap hari atau mengapa kerja tidak ikhlas dan hanya sambil lewa? mulut berkata-kata perkara yang tidak elok. 

sometimes people forgets that "Mati" itu janji Allah.setiap manusia pasti mati. setiap manusia itu ada dosanya. no need to point fingers at people aorund you. cukuplah nilai diri sendiri dahulu. As for me, i know my sins sangat banyak. tak terkira butir pasir di pantai. ada dosa kecil ada dosa besar. kadang-kadang terdetik pada diri sendiri, kenapa masih belum mahu taubat nasuha. kadang-kadang kita tak perasan hati kita ni semakin hari semakin gelap warnanya, semakin pudar sinaran hidayahnya. kita pernah paksa diri untuk belajar, kenapa kita tak paksa diri untuk bertaubat?

Love. Sweet but can be poisonous. we tend to do nonsense things for this one word.Things might begin with sweet moments but ends with a regret. 

Sigh. 

Bismillahitawakkaltualallah. 

Untuk awak, i wish you all the best things in the worls, dunia dan akhirat.

Mungkin dah tertulis kat atas sana that there is no 'us'.

Love,

cornettoluvperhaps.

Friends over family.

Me gonna graduate tomorrow!.Yeay!!.. The moment the robe and the hood passed to me in the university centre, i felt that tingling excitement all over. Cant believe all those 4 years of learning was over and i'd be only one steps away of becoming a pharmacist! something that i never dream of when i was young, oopss..young-ER actually..hihi..

So, pre-graduation photoshoot took place this evening. WHY did i joined the photoshoot was the sole question that've been inside my head all the time during the photoshoot. i even cried inside. What the hell was i doing. All with their own families and taking pictures. i even wish i was invisible. Me holding my own camera, unable to call my friend's name to ask them to take my picture. Stood still pretending to be busy.***cried***..oh my..pathetic! i even felt sorry for myself. uh-huh..

I don't know how to face tomorrow. i'm so gonna go shopping therapy after graduation tomorrow. I'm not gonna bother taking too much pictures cause no one even care. i really hate this self-sorry feeling..omggg..

Friends over family? i'm so gonna kill myself if i ever did that. No one should prioritized friends over their family, so, i understand why i'm being left alone.*being so emotional i dont know what to feel anymore*

Sigh. i'm pouring this heartbroken feeling of mine into an entry.
To those who are graduating, Happy graduating peeps! To those who aren't, no rush, you gonna one day. ;)

Love,
cornettoluvperhaps.

Midnight crisis!

Mata leka menonton cerita Heroes season 4 tatkala tangan laju menyenduk adunan laksam ke dalam mangkuk steamer. Senduk, tutup dan putar timer. 5 minit 10 minit berlalu..Diri sendiri hanyut dalam cerita yang ditonton. Tiba-tiba.....

TEET TEET TEET TEET TEET!!!!!
Nyaring bunyi penggera tanpa henti menggegarkan seluruh rumah. Mata terus terpaku ke arah steamer. "Alarm detect haba ke ape ni?" Risau.

Masyitah yang sedang tidur tersentap. Daku berlari-lari tak tentu arah tak tahu apa yang perlu dibuat. Tekan button sana, tutup suis sini. "Bunyi dekat buzzer ni..ade orang kat bawah tekan ke?". Blank.

Masing-masing bersiap pantas. "Mungkin fire alarm ni ". Keluar pintu. Kosong. Only us?

Steamer buat laksam..

Kaki laju menuju ke tingkat bawah. Tombol pintu utama dipulas. Punat buzzer rumah ditekan lantas bunyi yang memecahkan kesuyian malam tanpa henti tadi senyap membisu. Punat buzzer dilepaskan.

TEET TEET TEET TEET!!!

Ditekan semula. Senyap.

Sah buzzer rosak.

Nasib baik ada button OFF buzzer tu kat rumah and luckily we found it fast. Kalau tak i don't know what we had done. In the middle of the night.

Alhamdulillah syukur Allah permudahkan urusan kami berdua malam ni tatkala tiada insan untuk membantu.

Love,
Cornettoluvperhaps.

Attention or intention?

Have you ever been in a situation where you really want someone to notice you over somebody else or paying more attention to what you did more than her/him? Have you? Hehe..don't get me wrong..most of us normal people experience this feeling right.. doesnt matter if they are your parents or teachers or friends you are seeking the attention from..but  let's face it..the one we seek is usually the one we have interest in..kan?

This is yet another post of mine that i should categorised as random thought.. my mind suddenly blurt out(okay,not a good verb to use >.<) this topic and thus tadaaa.. the late morning entry..^^

I went for trips, i observed, i talked to and most importantly,i've been there..on that road but this time, its someone else.hihi

You just knew it when someone make it so obvious that he has a crush on somebody, and does everything he could to get her attention..a bit childish sometime but should i say in an innocence way? The way i see, i saw 2 guys falling for the same girl. The first guy is so obvious to bits, the second one is not so, perhaps just being gentleman.

Lake district, bowness pier.

Interesting. Okay, dah macam buat analisa pulak kan..hehe..but something is definitely going on here..i cant assume..let us just wait and see whats gonna happened okay.

Ketibaan orang glasgow di lake district!..hehe

Alright, enough about them. Its 2 weeks plus till i reach and walk on the earth of my bloodshed (tak tahu jugak what i really mean here, but just bear with me okay). Yesterday we went to a national park in England.it was hot and sunny!  Seriously hot! I got sun burns..T.T btw, it was 21'C..around that temp. and no wind..

Candid!..la sangat..;p

We row a boat for almost 2 hours. It was awesome and fun and yeayyy my dream came trueeee..i wish to go kayak-ing before going back to malaysia and i did! Awesome!! The scenery was daebak, the water was blue, the lake view was awesomely pretty and the people on the boat were my besties..except for the boys..they were not my besties yet..hihi

Row row row your boat!!..our boat! ;D

It's our turn to row..and incik amir promote tortilla nampakk..

Then, we ate ice cream, went for a walk, rode a bus to grasmere and went back to windermere. Have a short picnic without food at the shore, playing stone-seasurface-throwing (i totally made up this name >.<) and took the train back to glasgow. It was fun and exciting!! Wish we had stayed for couple of days..

Picnic-ing

Lake district is such a big place visit and so much things to see and do.

I reaallly wanna go in~~..maybe next timee

 Subuh dah masuk, i need to pray and wish you have a good night sleep peeps.

Love,
Donut J.co

Random thoughts.

Okay..sedang-sedang daku study CPP ni, (clinical pharmacology and prescribing) tiba-tiba terdetik nak tulis blog. Biasala kan, norma pelajar mengulangkaji pelajaran, ade je tiba-tiba menda yang nak dibuatnya..huhu

Jadi, coretan kali ini adalah mengenai perkara yang biasanya kita nampak dan ponder tapi hanya untuk sekejap je. Tak ambil tindakan lanjut apatah lagi memikirkan sesuatu itu dengan lebih lanjut.

First thing,

Bersalam-salaman antara lelaki dan perempuan.
Sekarang kat tv atau kat mana2 event sekalipun, even walhal seorang muslimah itu bertudung sekali pun, dia tetap akan menghulurkan tangannya untuk bersalaman dengan lelaki. Betul?anda penah nampak ni? Kalau dapat bersalaman dengan artis lagi la..bukan main gembira lagi..Salah?

Skinny jeans/seluar
Trend pakaian sekarang. Even dakuu pun pernah pakai seluar ni. Terikut-terikut dengan perkembangan semasa gamaknya. Padahal tahu mende itu salah. Nauzubillahminzalik. Berdoa agar dilindungi Allah dari memakainya di luar lagi, dalam rumah takpa.Tudung dah tersarung cantik di kepale tapi kaki? Mengucap panjang kalau parents kita nampak anak-anak dia jalan macam tak pakai apa2 kat kaki..betul? Bukan sahaja perempuan. Lelaki pun sama. Lelaki yang auratnya dari bawah pusat hingga bawah lutut tu kalau pakai skinny jeans and baju ketat pendek, rasa-rasanya terdedah tak auratnya?Aurat bukan sahaja pada nampaknya kulit tetapi juga susuk bentuk tubuhnya. Got what i mean? Minta ampun kalau imaginasi anda mencecah level PG18.

Betudung litup, ber T-shirt lengan pendek
Entah mengapa cukup sakit mata daku melihat pemandangan sebegini.

Budak-budak yang melanggar peraturan sekolah dianggap 'cool'
Fenomena sebegini ku anggap pelik. Banyak cerita-cerita jepun dan korea sebenarnya yang mencorakkan pemahaman sebegini. Sering kita lihat dalam drama ataupun movie, budak-budak nakal yang melanggar peraturan sekolah dikagumi oleh orang lain kerana ke'cool'ness nya dan budak nerd yang suka belajar hanyala menjadi teachers'-pet dan memegang watak pe'report' dan menyusahkan orang lain. Tapi, adakah ini realiti?Anda kalau memerlukan pertolongan adakah anda cari seorang gengster sekolah ataupun seorang yang tampak beredukasi?

Movie dekat astro tak ditapis
Ini sangat bahaya..Tolongla tapis adegan-adegan yang tak senonoh di astro lagi-lagi movie-movie bahasa inggeris yang kadangkala levelnya boleh mencapai tahap level dah kahwin baru boleh tengok.

Barang-barang baik lagi mahal
Alangkah indahnya dunia kalau barang-barang lagi berkualiti lagi murah dari barang kurang berkualiti. Angan-angan semata.

Okay, ni je kot..nanti panjang-panjang macam-macam pulak yang pelik-pelik keluar. Haha.
Hashtag: Random thoughts. ;p

Lagu on replay masa mencoret rentetan fikiran ini : Afghan- Bawalah Cintaku

May Allah leads us towards the route to Jannah.
Sama-samalah kita memperbaiki diri. Amin.

Sincerely,
Donut J.Co

Preview on 2013.

I really wanna make a post on how 2013 have been good to me so far but all these assignment dues and upcoming exam just wont let me. Gomen. =(

So, i'm just gonna make a preview with these so that when its time to write,hopefully i wont forget or become too lazy to make the post..eheh!..;p

1st up. Our skating pic.

Ice skating.

Glasgow had been colder and colder as it approaching January and February early this year. So, sebagai budak baru nk belajar ice-skating, super exited nak try sport ni. The Outdoor ice-rink lagi la membuatkan dup dap je hati ni time nk skate. All the eyes on you when you fell on the floor, but then sape kisah kan as long as you had fun..;p

2nd picture!

Make face..;o

 Oh oh..whats with the pic? Mengape ade orang atas stage?Hihi.. this is the 2nd or the 3rd rehearsal tak igt but things are getting better and better with the preparation of the awesome malaysian night. Betul la kata orang tua2 practise makes perfect. ;)
Next one,

Recognize this step?

We were practicing one of the legendary dance step in music industry! Seriously tak tahu kenape lagu tu menjadi kegilaan ramai bila the dance was just........(-.-) oh well, lain orang lain preference.

This was the Dance!

The night!

Finally, the dance!.nervous terpancar kat muka masing2 but we smartly covered it with a smile. Tehee.. Glad we can show what malaysia was like. Full of colours!..;)
NExt~~

Kat mane ni rasanya? ;)

We are all set!.. ;D

Tau dak kat mana ni?..

Next picture~

Ketibaan doctor to be.;)

 Kak mira in Glasgow~..Weewit~..kitorang bawak kak mira menjelajah glasgow~~..Had a really fun time. masak2 jalan2..hilang stress kejap..hihi

1st house build in glasgow.

Taking a stroll at Loch Lomond.

Scary edinburgh.

The next event..Who's birthday was it?..Ce teka..

Holding the cake. 

Birthday boy..hihi

We are going somewhere. Could you guess where to?

Those boots were ready to stroll the streets!

Jiran~~.. ;)

My favourite! .;D On 1st of March..we all ate out and tadaaa~~... Well, i'm all grown up. 4 years pass 20 really make me felt~~~just.........happy!! .;) Age is just a number after all.;)

 So~..that's it! All the best for the upcoming exam minna-sama..;)
Till next post.
Annyeong!  \(^.^)/