Sunday may15th

Hi there.
Its been a long time love hate relationship with this blog of mine.
Bila baca balik catitan n coretan yg terpahat kat sini..rasa diri ini semakin berumur dan meningkat dewasa. Ye la..last post was around 2 years ago when I was an intern. N now dah masuk 2 years jadi frp.

It's raining tonight. Setelah gejala el nino selama beberapa bulan. Alhamdulillah. Kl selangor dah selalu hujan sekarang. Siap ade banjir lagi area bangsar haritu. Habis  kereta tenggelam. Nauzubillah.

Skg ni menghitung hari utk bff Anis Nabila punya wedding. Less than 2 months from now. Mesti nervous tu. Ye lah. Nk masuk alam perkahwinan kan. I wud feel the same too kalau majlis dah dekat. Huhu

Wedding. Marriage. I have a lot of perspective n expectation in this two words especially the latter. Scared, afraid, curious, nervous. Semua pun ada lah. I wonder how 2 people can cope n live under the same roof for years happily ever after. Will there be any cheating behind or arguments. Arguments tu normal. But whilst cheating is not common back in gears masa zaman tok nenek mak ayah kita dulu..these days it wudnt be the same. And im scared by it. Traumatized is a better word I guess for me. Just thinking about it break me down. Doa byk2 minta dijauhkan.

Instead of stories. I guess this place wud be my journal instead. Since these days people dont really hold n carry around a book or diary anymore..I guess a blog wud be sufficient.

My blog my journal.

Love,
Me

A New Phase

PRP phase is OVER!!! Floating~

" YEAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! "

The ultimate feelings u felt when something bad end. This is how i feel once i handed in my logbooks around 2 months ago..kekeke~

Sumpah serious rase macam bebanan setahun jadi kuli tu terangkat..

Alhamdulillah. and Yes, i did say kuli. Tak kisahla gaji 4k(bukan gaji sebenar) sebulan, cannot match the feelings u get, the stupid foolish feeling u felt when been shooting with whole questions that when u heard, u mind went "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa...aku tak tauuu" or rase tertindas u felt when all the work and shifts u need to fill in just because u are a fellow PRP. Tak nak retain please.

Fellow PRPs

Okay, its not fair to set aside the good side of being a prp, its not all bad~kan? Seriously, the good thing when u r a PRP is...

u get along so well with your group of PRP's..support each other,mingle and spend time together..cause they know and went through the same things as you.

 Mungkinla..the upper side will say, 

"time ni la nak belajar semua, xkanlah nanti jadi pegawai baru nak belajar" or

"PRP senang, takde tanggungjawab lagi,nanti jadi pegawai ade tanggungjawab"

saya sgtla bersetuju dengan kenyataan kedua tapi bukan pertama, learning is a lifelong process. betul tak?bukanlah nak cakap tak payah belajar sungguh2 time prp ni..tapi~ its bad to call people stupid or to scold them to bits when they dont know something. Seingat saya la..dari ape yg saya belajar kat scotland dulu.. 7 Ethics ofbeing a pharmacist, one of them is to educate newcomers, sharing knowledge and experiences. Tak tahu pulak kalau kat malaysia x praktik mende ni, and yet we say we r striving to be one of the negara maju by 2020.*smirk*

Pharmacist night 2014

okay..dah melalut plak memalam ni. Nevertheless..right now..i really hate this sentences..

"Eh, bukan dah floating ke?takkan mende ni pun tak tau?"

bley je kalau saya nk reply.. "Eh,bukan dah bertahun ke jadi pegawai, takkan recommendation pun x  tahu?" kan?

anyhow..saya minx maaf sgt2 kat memane pegawai/dah jadi pegawai yg terbaca blog ni..hanya sekadar luahan perasaan..its not like u never experience this kind of feelings.

Jamuan raya kat inpatient

Bukan ke sebelum jadi rama-rama,mesti akan jadi ulat beluncas dulu..tapi from what i observed, kebanyakan rama-rama esp those yg semakin meningkat usia ni semakin lupa dirinya juga pernah suatu ketika dahulu jadi ulat beluncas. Hopefully im not gonna be like that one day in the future..Amin..kalau umur panjang..doakan!

Moving on..

Unexpected things do happen. We just need to pray and have faith. With patient and  hope, beautiful things will come your way..one day.

Where i met my prince. ;)

To you,

Hi. im glad u found me. ;)

Just wanna let you know that...i never expect this to happen. not even in my dreams but it does..and im glad it does. Love you! ^^

Love,

Cornettoluvperhaps

Half way to you.

Ramadhan Day-13

'Oh Allah,if you see me getting further away from you,turn me to you in a beautiful way'

A wonderfull doa to practice.;)

Hari ke 13 berpuasa. Quran x sampai setengah juzuk pun lagi. Mengharapkan ramadhan kali ini jadi yg lebih baik dari sebelumnya. Bagaimana?

First year bekerja dan berpuasa. Dugaan. Keletihan bekerja,nk terawih lagi.kadang2 tak sempat terawih dah masuk alam mimpi dah pun. Kadang2 x sempat isyak,baru siap maghrib terus ZzzZzz.. Hajat di hati nak hilangkan penat tapi penat di badan sampai sahur terlena. Nasib baik ibunda kejut sahur,kalut ambil wuduk melangsaikan hutang isyak sebelum bersahur. Astaghfirullah.

Muka tahan ngantok.ZzzZ

Hmm..tempat kerja. Let see.. Store?one word to describe = secretary. Untuk para prp yg belum masuk section stor lagi. Ketahuilah yg ia adalah station yg heaven!if u do love kerja2 menaip dan kerja2 ofice girl,its perfect! And the most convenient thing is takde logbook! Ade sebenarnye cuma theres no need to fill in anything,just fill up your name..*heaven heavenheavenheaven*hee..

Ehem.berbalik kpd kisah ramadhan. Harini diberi kesempatan merasa nikmat Allah utk bernafas kat bumi. Alhamdulillah. Harini i do my best utk tidak berfikir perkara2 yg kt tak dapat or yg we miss..tak kesahla org ke or impian atau cita2,blaja bersyukur. I try my best not to think about him but instead bykkan berzikir to Him.

Org kata kalau syg macammana pun kalau bukan hak kita,we just cannot get it. Betul? Jadi bulan2 puasa ni try belajar mendidik diri utk syg orang sbb Allah. Kt mesti nak org yg kt syg msk syurga dan bukan menitip di gaung neraka kan.and i believe one day when i truly love him because of Allah, Allah will replace him with someone better. Amin. ;)

Okay.pasal cinta lagi..x sudah2.. Hee. Bear with me. Mungkin kali keseribu patah hati sebab org yang same. Sebab tu org kata first love susah nak get over with.:p

Choose wisely.

Im moving on and im moving on for good. Buka pintu hati utk terima org lain and percaya jodoh itu ketentuan ilahi.

Jadi..half way already gone.tinggal lagi separuh utk mengejar cinta ilahi. Sama2 lah kt berlumba2 utk tamatkan ramadhan ini dengan amal ibadah, akan try terawih plus solat sunat utk malam2 yg tinggal ni..inshaAllah. Doakan! ;)

Love,
Ano

So true!

Ist of ramadhan. Things are going to be better.

Ist of ramadhan.

Wondering what i shoud do today.beside sleeping obviously. 2nd week attached in store and suddenly last night we had a pillow talk session about what we shud do in the future. He's getting married and i'm being informed last week. Be it. Its not our fate to be husband n wife. Just stay calm and live the future.

My prp life will end in 2 months time. So much things to settle.stress out.

PRP HRPZII. The Gegirls.

Had sahur this morning. On the way to hospital,bumped onto somebody's bumper. Luckily just a stratch on Caroline. Need to polish her though so that the mess wont look so obvious and daddy wont start nagging. Need to keep it secret. *smirk*

As time passed by,i started to have this feeling of quiting this job. Not my passion and i dont know if i can cope well. Pay?yes its high but i dont know if its worth it.

Im just glad i had bunch of girls who as well prps' and we had so much fun eventhough the needles and pain will often come and go. 3 months from now everyone will scatter around the globe and i need to find a new bunch of people to hang out with.

Senpai words of wisdom

As senpai said,people come and go..only those who stay around are those people who can accept you for who you are. Appreciate them and you will be appreciated.

Too much random thoughts. Haha.

Bye.

Love,
Ben n jerry.

LOve vs MArriage

Senpai dah selamat akad nikah!!.. *kepuk kepang kepuk kepang* bunyik kompang..hikhik
Its been a long journey and a long last friendship. Tahniah senpai.

So, one more good guy dalam hidupku dah selamat akad nikah. Alhamdulillah. Sekarang tinggal lagi 2 orang. sorang kawan baik since kawan sekolah menengah sorang lagi kawan sejak daku berumur 18?. bile nak dapat berita gembira dari dua orang nih..hehe

Marriage.

InshaAllah kalau ade jodoh ade la. Bukan ke Allah dah tetapkan siapa jodoh kita from the day kita ditiupkan roh lagi. So, tak timbul isu terlepas pandang, tak perasan ataupun jual mahal kan?

These past few months banyak sangat duduk memikirkan bab2 cinta dan kehidupan ni. Susah. Just go with the flow. Apa yang dah lepas biarkan ia berlalu. Apa yang salah jadikan pengajaran dan apa yang baik jadikan ia sebagai a good memories.

Banyak lagi perkara yang perlu difocuskan dalam kehidupan ni. Tak guna jugak memikirkan perkara yang tak kan bertandang. ibarat menunggu bintang jatuh ke riba. which is sangat mustahil kecuali pada hari kiamat. btul tak?.

Cakap pasal jodoh, Senpai kata aku terlampau memikirkan pasal crush aku tu (ex crush currently) sampai tak nampak orang lain. Yup, i got to agree on that. kelabu mata2 sampai heartbroken tahap mega. Bila pikir2 balik, rase nak lempang diri sendiri pun ada. haha.

So into somebody pun tak bagus jugak. It took you away from Allah which is the rightful owner of you, your heart body and soul. Its a no no. Bercinta pun kena berpada-pada and open your eyes and mind.

Laju je merepek harini..haha.

Right. So, selamat pengantin baru senpai. Doakan aku dapat jodoh yg baik jugak and tak terlepas pandang dah org sekeliling..;p hehe

Love,
Ben&Jerry

Let it go~ 2months and counting.

I don't know at whom to utter this strange mixed feelings of mine..so please bear with me for this little one.

This is me and my love story. (love la kot?)

Dear dairy,

The first moment we met each other is the moment that always confused me,

What you did to make me fell for you is a big mystery,

And how the feelings last is another puzzled for me to solve,

I just knew that i like you just by you being you.

Seeing you being hurt by someone else makes me feel sad,

seeing you broken hearted is what hurts me the most,

i wish i could be your pills that you can take,

to ease the pain away if i may,

even if its just for a little while.

i thought what i did and what we share give you a moment of joy,

and time free from her memories. 

but each time we are not talking or meeting up with each other,

i know her photos is what you seek in your phone

and her post what fill you up each morning

I tried to be better, i tried to be patient,

i tried to make you mine,

but i know its impossible not matter what i do

or no matter what we did.

Honestly,

i kinda miss the moment we spend text-ing each other,

or the silence moment we had in the car undeciding where to go for a date,

or whether to eat or not to eat,

or the moment you seems lost in between.

i miss the moment you ask me to wear something nice just to take selfies,

or asking me where i wanna go just to take me there,

i miss the moment each time we passed by the kl night view, you'll say the same thing over and over again.

i miss your childish side,

i miss being childish when i'm with you. 

And i'm truly sorry,

for what we did.

if i seems too dependent when i'm with you..trust me,its just to seek your attention

if i'm being too silence, i'm too shy to say i love this moment of having you just by myself

if i'm being too pushy, its just a way to test your irritation limit towards me

One way or another,

i always knew there is never 'us' in your life

and my wishes and dreams would never come true.

Those harsh words you said to keep me in distance,

To banned me from your life so that we stop doing things that we gonna regret,

i know that what you did, you did for our good.

I dont blame you.

i just blaming myself,

for deciding to be your pills

when i'm not sure what your remedies really are.

For things we did, for all the good memories we share, i dont know if you still have them. Let just hope we will never encounter each other again. They say the snow always melt when the heat come.

-Miss Jco-

A memo to oneself.

Seungkap kata.

2014.i'm still struggling with my prp life. this gonna be my 3rd month doing my prp (provisionally registered pharmacist) or also known as pharmacist-in-training but i'm still in the middle of adapting myself to those stressful life and a mixture of negative and positive environment.

Friday. 2.57am

Terlintas di fikiran. Mati itu pasti tapi mengapa manusia masih sibuk dengan hal duniawi. Tertusuk kepada diri sendiri. Ya, bekerja dengan niat kerana Allah Taala. setiap hari begitukah?Jika begitu mengapa al-quran tidak dibelek setiap hari atau mengapa kerja tidak ikhlas dan hanya sambil lewa? mulut berkata-kata perkara yang tidak elok. 

sometimes people forgets that "Mati" itu janji Allah.setiap manusia pasti mati. setiap manusia itu ada dosanya. no need to point fingers at people aorund you. cukuplah nilai diri sendiri dahulu. As for me, i know my sins sangat banyak. tak terkira butir pasir di pantai. ada dosa kecil ada dosa besar. kadang-kadang terdetik pada diri sendiri, kenapa masih belum mahu taubat nasuha. kadang-kadang kita tak perasan hati kita ni semakin hari semakin gelap warnanya, semakin pudar sinaran hidayahnya. kita pernah paksa diri untuk belajar, kenapa kita tak paksa diri untuk bertaubat?

Love. Sweet but can be poisonous. we tend to do nonsense things for this one word.Things might begin with sweet moments but ends with a regret. 

Sigh. 

Bismillahitawakkaltualallah. 

Untuk awak, i wish you all the best things in the worls, dunia dan akhirat.

Mungkin dah tertulis kat atas sana that there is no 'us'.

Love,

cornettoluvperhaps.